All Sides of Abortion. Should The Father Have A Say?
Posted: Sunday, November 20, 2005
by Mermaid Sasha
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I am going to touch on a subject that is by far one of the touchiest, besides race. Abortion. There has been a new flurry of commotion around it lately as Judge Samuel Alito is being groomed for the Supreme Court. Something from his past was dug up in which he once said or voted that women should be able to have abortions but they should be required to tell their husbands. Now many have commented about this and I'm not sure where I stand on it. I have this weird ability to truly look at all sides of an argument, so I haven't jumped into any conclusions on this.
Bill O'reilly and many other men have said that yes they should get a say because if they don't get a say then they shouldn't have to pay child support. Well I notice that most times people don't think before they speak because if the woman gets an abortion then there is no child support necessary. I do feel that the guy should have some part in the decision. However I also have to remember that there are women out there who are being abused and stuck in relationships in which the man is controlling them. How do they tell there significant other that they want an abortion? They can't. Then there is the fact that a teenager has to tell her parents. Once again, there are the good parents and then there's the bad. Who will think only about what they want and not what's best for there child and perhaps grandchild. By this I mean they either force her to get an abortion if she doesn't want one, or force her to have the child if she wants one.
Ultimately I think people just don't think about the fact that the baby is in her, she has to carry it nine months and go through labor. The father can walk away, and in many cases she can too if she chooses, but mostly the decision rests on her shoulders and whether it's easy or hard, it's all on her. Like I said, I can see both sides of the argument. I myself don't want to have any abortions, I love children and even at it's hardest I want to have a child no matter what. If I can't, then I will happily adopt which is something I do plan on doing in a few years. That being said, no the father doesn't carry that child 9 months or deliver it, but that is his child. He can never know the bond between a mother and her child, but if he's a good man, he can feel the joy of holding that child in his arms. Feel his heart swell with pride and awe that this little person is here because of both of them.
And if that man wants to have that child be born, is it right that he have no say in it? Is it right for him to be able to do nothing except go home and cry tears of pain because he will never hold his child? A woman can go to a sperm bank and pick out a father. Men can't exactly walk into a uterus bank and pick out a mother.
I don't know what the solution is, but this topic isn't easy for most people. I do believe that abortions should be legal and should stay that way. But I also believe that the father should be able to play a role, but how?
I think the father should have say about abortion. UNLESS it was a product of rape, incest, or child malistation (sorry spelling bad :( ) also i think that if it puts the mother's life in danger to continue the pregnancy then i think that the father should have no say because at that point it becomes a life and death situation
Hey, here's a thought. The person who deals with the daily infringement of pregnancy on their body and daily life should be the one to make the decision regarding abortion. In an ideal world, the pregnant person would be in a stable relationship and would talk to the potential father and have an in-depth conversation about the issue before making any decisions regarding aborting or not. But there are plenty of simply terrible relationships out there, as well as the unfortunate "Maury trend" of some people simply not knowing who the father may be (again, this is not an ideal world). In any case, the pregnant person's decision should be theirs alone, regardless of any interferement from anyone else. They have the right, maybe even the obligation, to talk with the potential father, but they shouldn't need his permission. Adult pregnant persons are, well, adults capable of making decisions. I sympathize with those men whose partners aborted without taking them into account, but until we can find a way of moving a foetus from a woman's body into a man's for gestation, the final decision should rest with the person who is actually physically pregnant. Another thought: If the person you're with is pro-choice and you're not, then why are you together? There are plenty of "pro-life" women out there. Pick your sexual partner(s) VERY carefully next time.i dont agree with you yeah the woman carries it but it takes two people to create that life and if the woman is mature enough to have sex and risk getting pregnant she should be mature enough to carry the baby if she does get pregnant just because its her body DOES NOT mean that she has the right to take away that fathers child and thats basically what it is if he doesnt get a say but wanted to keep the baby. yeah pregnancy can be a pain but it is an even bigger emotional pain to lose a child that you wanted just because the mother to be is selfish the guy should get a saywhy are you basing all your info on 'if theyre pro choice and your not' kind of crap.this is not a pro choice pro life based arguement it is an arguement based on weather or not the male should have a say.if you as a woman want to go get an abortion without the said male knowing then you alone have made that choice and you alone should deal with the outcome.it is the most basic thing that this whole topic is about, communication.and yes we dont live in a perfect ideal world but lets not play the what if game either.
I think it'd be ideal if men would simply be supportive of the women they inpregnate.For men that want to give the fetus rights, at the expense to the rights of women...Ok, fair enough. If you give your rights up the women you inpregnante for the duration of their pregnancy then perhaps we can strike a compromise. You get to be the womans slave and if she has you walk around with a watermelon up your butt for 9 months perhaps you'll see why it'd have been better for men to butt out. Deal?
I think fathers should have a say, it would be just as much the mans baby as the womans.Men can offer love and support to a child. I completely understand if a woman gets raped if she wants to abort the baby, however the father should have no say at all whether or not she aborts it, and I hate saying it, but to make it fair toall of the other fathers out there who had concentual sex with a woman and she ended up pregnant, if a woman wants to abort the baby and it is not agreed by both parties involved she should have to go to court and get sole custody of the baby. And if the woman doesnt want the baby and the father does, the father should have the right to take her to court , get custody, and attempt to place the baby in another womb of some sort
my girlfriend is getting rid ov my child after 7 weeks her family turned them back on her wen she said she was pregnent now they are all sucking up to her just because she desided to have 1 i really dont no what to do ;(
If the mom is unmarried, then no, the father should have no say in the matter, it's not his life or his body, if he wants the baby, he'll stand up and marry the woman, they aren't tanks for carrying our young.
In a marriage though, the decision whether or not to abort MUST be made together, if an abortion is decided then the consent form should have to be signed by both parties. In a marriage, your bodies belong to each other, the father feels the same pain as his wife after an abortion. I speak from experience, not out of hand. My wife and I made the decision to keep every one of our children together, it was NEVER HER choice, it was OUR choice because we do firmly believe that our bodies are as much each others as they are our own. When our fourth came along recently, we decided not to have it, together. At the doctors they didn't give me a second look, didn't raise a brow whether or not I consented to this, and all in all they just pretended I wasn't there. The saddest part, and what I feel is the greatest violation of my rights as a person is when I went in to have the old boys snipped, my Dr. asked if I had my wife's permission to do it. I laughed in his face and stormed out. Eventually I found a Doctor that didn't ask, (I did have permission, but the principle of the matter) but I was still outraged that she was able to terminate our baby without a glance at me an irreversible thing, but I needed her permission for a little reversible snip to prevent future babies. Another comment on the feminazis in the world that march around with their hairy legs, armpits and vaginas and insist it's their bodies and their lives and pretend men don't exist. Guess what, when your wife has an abortion, you as a man share her pain and feel your own. Grief, guilt and relief all shared, I cried with my wife afterwards, even though we both knew we'd done the right thing.What does marriage have to do with a guy having a say in the abortion of a child? You dont need a ring to become one! If you are both adults and submit into consensual sex and a child is made it should become both participants decision to abort. She didnt make the baby herself, he was there too. Men might not carry the bay for the term but that doesnt make them not want the baby any less than the mother. And so many men if given the option would carry the baby if it meant the could have it. In the end i highly disagree the and couples decisions should be based on wedlock, a couple is a couple and you dont need to be married to be in love or be able to communicate or even negotiate. But I do agree with the insult about is it ok with the wife to snip off the testes I would of stormed out too! LOL
yes this article really helps you if you can not decided and according to me yes men to have a say and should speak up because if you don't then you will regret it later on when you see someone so happy with their new born baby wishing you felt the say way men please speak up and don't be afarid to say wat you think and feel
very interesting topic. i am a guy so natrualy i want a say in the matter. but i can see what someone said up ther about its the mothers body but then again she was stupid enough to not take all precautions to prevent the child from being concived. so if women dont want a kid take birth control AND use a condom. dont be silly wrap ur willy. thats what my mother told me some years back.
I have looked at most of your comments and respect each and every one of them, I have been through hell and back these past 2 years because of a choice my ex fiance chose to do, when she discovered she was pregnant we was both over the moon she was happy I was happy we was at peace, I was really excited about becoming a father telling every one the great news, a proud daddy in the making, but one day she messaged me and told me my unborn child had been aborted I've cried I've hurt I still cry I still hurt, I think all men should have a right to have a say on abortion unless your a woman beater or anything along those lines. us gd guys do have feelings and that destroyed me.
I think it would be great if men could have a say in wither or not their baby was aborted. But at the end of the day, it's a black and white issue. Either the baby is aborted or it's not. There is no room for compromise.
It is also ridiculous to think that it is right to force someone to carry a baby. I think that while the baby is INSIDE the woman, while the baby is APART of the woman, UNABLE to survive OUTSIDE of the woman on it's own it is under her control, and her control only. During and after birth, and until the child is 18 years old and responsible for it's self, is when the child falls under the EQUAL control of both the mother AND the father.
Should a woman be forced to carry a child when she doesn’t want to because the father wants her to?
No. First off, that wouldn't be equal. That would be the man vetoing the womans proposal for an abortion. Giving him more control of the situation than her. When the situation is taking place in her body. That does infringe on women’s rights. Yes, men have equal rights to their children, but it is illegal for a person's rights in infringe upon someone else's. I believe that the basic human right to have control over ones own body outweighs the right of being able to make decisions regarding one's children.
I totally understand why men would want to have a role in abortions. Because yes, they are half of the reason the child was conceived. But, while the child is INSIDE the woman’s body, it is her basic human right to have control of her body. After the baby is born however, the father has JUST AS MUCH say in the child’s life as the mother.
Fathers should give their opinions on if an abortion should happen or not and those opinions should be considered. But again, at the end of the day, you can't force someone to stay pregnant if they don't want to be. That is an infringement upon that person's human rights and there have been many court cases that back up that up. But I hope that any woman seeking an abortion will, if the father has opinions on it, listen to them, and respect them.
Fathers are just as important as mothers and should have equal rights to a child.
I don’t mean to offend anybody. Sorry if there are some grammatical errors, and I don’t mean to be redundant, I just want to reiterate myself to make sure my point gets across.
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